Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Giving Soccer a Makeover.

Soccer is such an unsatisfying spectacle that players apparently need to fake injury to create any sort of drama. How can such a monotonous sport which frequently provides no result, be so popular? I just don't get it.

While Australian Rules footballers play out a game with broken ribs, bruised pancreas, and broken noses, soccer is unlikely to garner any credibility in this country, in its current form. This is not to say that playing with such injuries is desirable, or even admirable. What it does do is make a laughing stock of those soccer players continually faking serious injury, often being stretchered from the ground only to jump to their feet once over the boundary line.

To this end, I have composed some suggested changes for consideration. Until then my local running track provides ample opportunty to observe people running around in circles to no avail for 90 minutes. I'll see you down there.

1. Make the goals bigger.
2. Lose the off-side rule.
3. Allow contact - bumping players directly contesting the ball.
4. Penalise posers with a red card.
5. Replace the oh-so-spheric ball with an oval shaped one.
6. Make the play more open with 9 a side.
7. Extra time for all games to ensure an actual result (please!)
8. Those stretchered off must have the following game off.
9. Referees to be red-carded for getting sucked in more than three times a game.
10. Allow players to leap on each other's shoulder to head the ball.

Watch soccer players faking injury

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